My best friend from college and I have an on going contest we like to call, “Things you never thought you’d hear yourself say before you had kids.” Recently, I had a real good one that was definitely a contender for top seat. Here it is:
“We don’t put anything in any openings of our body unless it is our mouths and then only if it is food!”
Why, might you ask, would I have to actually specify such a thing? And remember, my kids are 6 and 9 years old, not 1 and 3. It happened one afternoon when I picked my 6year old up from school and he informed me, rather matter-of-factly, “Mommy I have an eraser in my ear.”
“We don’t put anything in any openings of our body unless it is our mouths and then only if it is food!”
Why, might you ask, would I have to actually specify such a thing? And remember, my kids are 6 and 9 years old, not 1 and 3. It happened one afternoon when I picked my 6year old up from school and he informed me, rather matter-of-factly, “Mommy I have an eraser in my ear.”
I stopped in my tracks. Surely I had heard him wrong! But a quick inspection of said ear revealed that there was, in fact, a bright pink pencil eraser in his ear, sticking out ever so slightly.
Torn between going back in to find the school nurse and driving the 2 miles home to my tweezers, I choose the later. After instructing my son not to even think about touching the ear, we made it home and to my master bathroom with amazing speed. The eraser was still protruding slightly which was the only reason I even thought about removing it myself. In a flash I had it out. As I took a deep breath and sat my little guy down on the toilet I asked him, “Why did you put an eraser in your ear?”
Torn between going back in to find the school nurse and driving the 2 miles home to my tweezers, I choose the later. After instructing my son not to even think about touching the ear, we made it home and to my master bathroom with amazing speed. The eraser was still protruding slightly which was the only reason I even thought about removing it myself. In a flash I had it out. As I took a deep breath and sat my little guy down on the toilet I asked him, “Why did you put an eraser in your ear?”
Pride showed on his little face as he explained that some of the boys at his table were being loud and he didn’t want to be distracted from his work and so he had made himself earplugs.
I knew without even asking that where there is one earplug there is a second, but still, you have to ask, “ Buddy, is there an eraser in your other ear?” His lip stuck out ever so slightly as he nodded yes. This one was, unfortunately, only visible with a flashlight and was not something a Mom could fix. Even the pediatrician refused to try to extract the earplug.
I knew without even asking that where there is one earplug there is a second, but still, you have to ask, “ Buddy, is there an eraser in your other ear?” His lip stuck out ever so slightly as he nodded yes. This one was, unfortunately, only visible with a flashlight and was not something a Mom could fix. Even the pediatrician refused to try to extract the earplug.
We narrowly avoided trip to the ER thanks to the kindly Ear, Nose, Throat doctor who stayed 15 minutes past closing time to remove the eraser, which took 10 seconds and only cost $600.
And know you know why I needed to actually utter those words. All this talk of ears has inspired me to share with you some of our team’s earrings, which you can wear on your ears, BUT not in them!
Comment below and share with us the “Things you never thought you’d hear yourself say before you had kids.”
2 comments:
This is so funny! i was laughing out loud. I'm telling this story to everyone i know. so funny!
Hi Frenchell..I still crack up about it too...I just updated my picture all so you can see his picture (sans earplugs) He looks so innocent HA!
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